The move to New York

Post by: Beth (of course)

Well, we are here in New York and all moved in! The trip here was smooth and unpredictable, luckily, despite some heavy rains in Birmingham from Hurricane Fay. The flight was on time, a quick flight, and the cars were there ready for us to load our luggage in and take us to the apartment. Since we're going straight to India from New York, we had to pack for both locations and a total of 7 months, so we had quite a bit of luggage to haul around. Raja and I were both weighing luggage up to the ounces the night before the flight, taking stuff out, rearranging, and re-weighing. All of our luggage passed the test so we got everything up here with us with no complications. :)
I have yet to take pictures of our new home because we just got all of Raja's things unpacked last night, so those will come soon. I did take pictures on the flight up here and from the taxi on the way to the apartment, so I wanted to post those for now.

Hope everyone is doing well! Keep in touch and let us know how you are :)

Raja waiting at the airport for the plane to begin boarding.

Up and away we go...

The views from the plane as we began the descent.

These nice men were the ones that took us and our luggage to the apartment.

Raja made me turn the flash off before photographing the drivers, but I got some good pictures anyway.

Picture I took from the taxi.

Raja used to work in this building during his 6-month NYC rotation.

More pictures from the taxi.

More to come soon from our home and the area in which we live! :)

More laughter than tears...

Post by: Beth

I got to spend the day yesterday with my grandmother, mom, cousin, and little cousin. Casey is my big cousin, and is Alex’s (little cousin) mom. Alex is approaching 6 years old, and is a ball of energy and a lot of fun. Casey and Alex had spent the night at Granny’s the night before – Casey and I (and the rest of the grandkids) used to spend the night at Granny and Paw-Paw’s a lot when we were little, and it’s important that the great grandchildren get to have the same experience of spending the night over there. I have great memories of painting with Granny when I was younger, watching Paw-Paw do his woodworking, and hearing Granny and Paw-Paw banter playfully back and forth. I can’t count the number of times I remember hearing Granny start talking (she likes to talk a lot and for a long time – she’s extremely “personable”) and I’d hear Paw-Paw say “Hold on, Betty.. Let me turn down my hearing aid” when he got tired of hearing her talk so much. She always just kept talking, completely undeterred.

It’s always a little different to go to their house now since Paw-Paw died about a year and a half ago. It’s great to see Granny there, and important to be there to remember the fun times, but it’s always a little different now and everyone seems to be aware that something is missing. One of the special things since Paw-Paw’s death has been to learn how everyone in the family holds different memories of him. Each member of the family came over after his death and took home something that was special to them and reminded them of Paw-Paw, and the variety of items that meant “Paw-Paw” was extremely wide and represented many different aspects of his personality. With Granny,
as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to really listen to her (no matter how much she talks ;) and that she really has some pretty wise things to say every once in a while. She also has some pretty funny things to say once in a while, and while our family isn’t quite the same without Paw-Paw, we’re so fortunate to still have Granny holding it together in her own funny ways. Since Paw-Paw’s death, she’s definitely had her moments where she gets really lonely… She does usually end up in tears for a few minutes at least once during our visits… but she also still whips out some really funny things about Paw-Paw, and they are what truly reminds me of Paw-Paw and Granny together. Yesterday was one of those times.

Alex was just old enough when Paw-Paw was still in good health to form many memories of him and to know what Paw-Paw was all about. One of the games Paw-Paw always played with her was to hide a big inflatable ball somewhere in the house every time she came over to visit, and Alex would always search for the ball and eventually find it, and he’d hide it again and the game would continue on and on that way. It turns out that this is one of Alex’s ways she “remembers” Paw-Paw and what he meant to her. I’m not sure if Granny hid the ball again before Alex came to visit this past time, or if it was just lying somewhere, but Alex “found” it, regardless. Much to her dismay, the ball had lost some if it’s air and was pretty flat, and this had never happened before while Paw-Paw was alive because he’d always re-inflate it and keep it perfectly round for her. So yesterday when she found the ball, she ran to Granny all in a tizzy as only a 5-year old can, and cried out that Paw-Paw left without blowing her ball up again. So Granny has 2 choices here: Obviously this is very sad that the 5 year old is upset that Paw-Paw died and her ball is flat and will never be blown up by him again. But as only Granny can, she also has this chance to turn this into a quip that Paw-Paw isn’t here to defend himself against. Without missing a beat, Granny takes on the same indignant look as Alex and says “He left here without finishing a lot of stuff in this house.”

When I heard this, I couldn’t help but laugh that Granny still chides Paw-Paw, even in death. If he was here, he would have had a great witty comeback for her remark. As sad as Granny is that Paw-Paw is gone, she still manages to find humor in some places where you just didn’t realize it was. Those are the times that make me understand that her humor and ability to hold her own with him is probably one of the biggest reasons Paw-Paw loved her so much, and also makes me remember Paw-Paw and Granny how they really were – playful, honest, down-to-earth, but always loving and respecting each other.

Everyone misses Paw-Paw very much, and he left his mark on this family and I have no doubt we’ll carry on his stories and memories for a long time to come. There’s no better catalyst than Granny to help us do that, and as long as she keeps her sense of humor about him, there may still be tears every once in a while, but there will always be more laughter, and that’s exactly how Paw-Paw would want it.

Things we left behind

Post by: Beth

We've had to leave many things behind in St. Louis. In some capacity, we've both left our jobs... we've left our first "home" as a married couple... we've left behind great friends that we already miss... and we've left behind a sort of comfort that St. Louis came to offer us. We've left behind the only things we've known as "Beth and Raja Gupta," and we're unsure of what our next home will be like, what our next jobs will be like, who our friends may be, and what comforts and risks await us. The move to St. Louis and then our move away has been a rollercoaster of sorts -- We've had our happy moments, our sad moments, exciting times, anxious times, and it's really been a great opportunity to grow and learn more about ourselves and how we play the cards life deals us.

Ironically in the middle of all of this, one of our toughest decisions so far hasn't involved a home, or money, or logistics --- it's centered around my cat, Aidan. (As silly as it may seem to some of you, this was a big thing for us -- Even allergic Raja grew to love Aidan and Aidan finally returned the love right back.) When we first started getting choices for overseas rotation locations, a huge factor was "How do we get Aidan over to this country? What is involved for him during all of this? What's best for him?" As we came close to a rotation in Singapore, we fretted over mandatory quarantine. When we were about to accept a rotation in Seoul, we did hours of research on what all could be involved in flying Aidan to the city. And when we finally ended up with Bombay as the next locale, we were excited because it seemed that the move to India could be relatively easy for Aidan compared to some other countries. However, the more we made calls and did research, we learned that this could be quite a difficult move for my persnickity furball of a cat. Aidan doesn't like change very much (I can hear the jokes, guys.. not funny), and he's scared of pretty much everything (again.. not funny). ;) The 15-hour flight, the possibility of quarantine, and the numerous vet visits, poking and prodding that must take place before the move... All in all, the poor cat would have to go through quite a bit and after many tears and frustrations, I decided it would be best to try to find him a good stable home for the duration of our international travels.

Luckily, my boss in St. Louis has a wife that rivals any cat-lover I've met anywhere. After many emails to her with the caveat that Aidan is not one that immediately takes to new people and places, Gretchen decided she was up for the challenge and so Raja and I (ok mostly me...) were thrown onto another rollercoaster. Knowing Aidan would be moving into a new home (and SOON!) made it real and it was very hard to know that I didn't have many more days with Aidan before the move. At the same time, the relief that we were doing what was best for Aidan was a great feeling, and I really felt like John and Gretchen would provide a great home for the little critter.

So Raja and I made the drive over to John & Gretchen's with a curious Aidan in tow, and we stayed about an hour to get him acclimated and answer any of Gretchen's questions. We took his vet folder, lots of info about what he likes and how he acts, his bed, a new toy, and all his supplies. To our surprise, Aidan took to the house very well and even let Gretchen hold him! By the time we left, Aidan had found a spot under an end table and seemed quite comfortable -- we were shocked. Turns out that after we left, Aidan wasn't the best new houseguest ever and did his growling thing (no surprise there... he means no harm). But the next evening (Raja and I were flying to New Jersey on this day), Gretchen sent a follow-up email and said he seemed to be doing much better and was venturing around the house and exploring. Day after day, patient Gretchen sent me emails to let me know how Aidan was doing, what new things he'd attempted, and his overall accomplishments of the day. And day after day, they saw improvements. As of 2 days ago, Aidan was purring for Gretchen and letting him pet him, and seemed to be starting to follow her around the house. So he seems to be settling in just fine, and Raja and I are extremely relieved and happy. It makes us really feel like we did the right thing for Aidan, and Gretchen has just been wonderful and very understanding during all of this. She's already taken pictures of him and sent them to us, and she gives me daily updates about him. She's understanding Aidan like only a real cat-lover can, and I have a feeling Aidan is going to not want to leave her when we return from overseas! We miss him very much, but these updates help a lot, and I have a feeling it's going to be a while before I quit diving for Raja's Blackberry everytime it vibrates with a new e-mail (Gretchen copies Raja on all of the Aidan updates so I can get them even if I'm not home).

Here are some pictures of him that Gretchen sent us recently... He isn't the most photogenic cat ever, but we love him anyway. :)